Unfaithful. 

After being out of a relationship for nearly a year now with a man who chose to be unfaithful, much thought went into what I want to share- so, I put my thoughts and feelings together in hopes of possibly helping one person, women or men, who have been in an unfaithful relationship. 

Here is what I learned: 

You are not to blame- so stop!

Stop. Blaming. Yourself. I know you are- I did, too. I must have blamed myself about 8,284, 972 times. I asked the common, ever daunting, questions, 'what if I would have been there,' (long distance) and, 'if I only could have given him what he was clearly missing'. You have got to stop doing this to yourself. You have to remind yourself cheating is a choice- not a mistake. Your partner and their other made the choice to do wrong- not you. 

Do not sulk...You do not want to be jaded. 

For the longest time I sat around and felt sorry for myself. I let one mans mistake and bad choices become a scar I allowed to jade my heart and emotions. Sometimes, love works, and is faithful- but, sometimes, love does not... and that is ok. I promise you life will keep moving. Do not miss out on life and its beauty, because of someones ugliness. Instead, feel sorry for them. Feel sorry for their loss of a trustworthy and committed partner, because that is the REAL loss. 

Forgive. 

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Maybe they do not necessarily deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve to move on and be happy. Your happiness can only come from you- you determine your own life and happiness and if you do not let go and forgive hate will fill your heart. Let go. Be happy. There is nothing more fulfilling than finding happiness within yourself- do that. 

Forget about them- but, do not forget what they taught you. 

Move on. Learn to love yourself and set your heart free in the beauty of the this crazy life. But, do not forget what that relationship taught you. Take that with you in your next relationship. You know what I am talking about that little voice in your head that told you, 'you know something is up,' or, 'you do not deserve this,' listen to that voice- it is usually correct. Remember who you are and what you deserve in a relationship and a partner. Do not settle, because I found I am much happier alone than with an undeserving partner. 

Love is a two way street paved by trust. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect or their heart toyed with. I have found that those who do not respect you- do not deserve you. Take this with you, guard your heart, and trust your instinct. Know your worth and never, ever settle for less. Find happiness within your own life and love. Love and love deeply, believe in love and fall madly, trust in your heart and trust the heart of others, love is an amazing gift and I hope you all find someone who can show you just that.