Love yourself.

Why it is O.K. to love yourself. 

We live in a society that breathes on the idea of tearing the normal human down. 

A society that feeds boys and girls men and women our flaws on a silver platter. 

A society where suicide is the third leading killer among teens ages 15-24.

Where more than 90% of girls ages 15-17 want to change an aspect of their body. 

Where 12% of teen boys take steroid or unapproved substances. 

And 80% of 10 year old girls are already dieting. 

So why do we shame people for loving themselves... 

Because we think it is selfish. 

We think loving our self is pride. 

Well I think that is BULL CRAP. And here is why...

The past few months for me have been a series of inner struggles within myself. From hating the way I look, hating my weight, my teeth, my hair, my height, anything and everything about myself I tore apart...

And one day I woke up and decided I do not want that anymore. 

I want to love myself. And if people think that is pompous, selfish, or self absorbed- in the words of Taylor Swift, "I'm just gonna shake it." Because it is a crime to hate a body that helps you survive, to hate a smile that makes my parents so happy, a weight that keeps me healthy, if I spent half as much time reminding myself the good, instead of tearing the self perceived bad down,  imagine the self positivity that could enhance. 

I cheer in college. Sometimes, (which is crazy to me), little girls say they want to be like me. So what kind of message am I sending to them? Because, it is a proven fact that the way mothers see themselves is reflected in how their daughters will view themselves. And, if I sit their complaining about my body- am I sending that message to the little girls who happen to follow me on instagram, facebook or twitter? Am I aiding the statistic of the 90% of girls who want to change an aspect of their body? I am- because, I am that statistic. And, for myself, I needed to change that. 

So I started Loving Myself. 

I would write little messages to myself reminding myself of who I was, what I have accomplished, and where I was going. 

Seriously, Post it Notes- go buy them and put them on mirrors, make up bags, gym bags, your closet door, the refrigerator. Everywhere. 

Because, it is not selfish to fall madly in love with who you are. 

To be proud of the body you are in.

Be proud of the person you are. 

To delight in the flaws that make you- you. 

That make you human. 

No one is perfect (surprisingly not even Adam Levine) but, that is true beauty. 

True beauty is embracing the quirkiness that makes your unprecedentedly yourself. 

A smile that's a little crooked because you hated your retainer.

A weight that might not be perfect because, yes, you replaced your cole slaw with fries at zaxbys. SUE ME. 

Skin that isn't perfect because sleep was more important than take off your makeup the night before. 

Because, believe it or not life is about more than your appearance and the way others view your beauty or self worth. 

Beauty is a laugh that fills a room, a humor that brings joy to others, and a heart that sees the good in all things. 

Choose to love yourself. And love like crazy. Because, no one will ever love you as much as you can love yourself (well, your parents. You're welcome mom.) Trust me- you are beautiful. Regardless of what the media, celebrities, the scale, the skewed view in the mirror, your ex, anyone says- there is not one other person like you. And that is amazing. 

Do not be a statistic. 

Be selfish. 

Remember, beauty is your perception- no one else matters.

"then, she began to breathe, and live, and every moment took her to a place where goodbyes were hard to come by, she was in love, but not with someone, or something, she was in love with her life. and for the first time, in a long time, everything was inspiring."

-R.M. Drake  

Unfaithful. 

After being out of a relationship for nearly a year now with a man who chose to be unfaithful, much thought went into what I want to share- so, I put my thoughts and feelings together in hopes of possibly helping one person, women or men, who have been in an unfaithful relationship. 

Here is what I learned: 

You are not to blame- so stop!

Stop. Blaming. Yourself. I know you are- I did, too. I must have blamed myself about 8,284, 972 times. I asked the common, ever daunting, questions, 'what if I would have been there,' (long distance) and, 'if I only could have given him what he was clearly missing'. You have got to stop doing this to yourself. You have to remind yourself cheating is a choice- not a mistake. Your partner and their other made the choice to do wrong- not you. 

Do not sulk...You do not want to be jaded. 

For the longest time I sat around and felt sorry for myself. I let one mans mistake and bad choices become a scar I allowed to jade my heart and emotions. Sometimes, love works, and is faithful- but, sometimes, love does not... and that is ok. I promise you life will keep moving. Do not miss out on life and its beauty, because of someones ugliness. Instead, feel sorry for them. Feel sorry for their loss of a trustworthy and committed partner, because that is the REAL loss. 

Forgive. 

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. Maybe they do not necessarily deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve to move on and be happy. Your happiness can only come from you- you determine your own life and happiness and if you do not let go and forgive hate will fill your heart. Let go. Be happy. There is nothing more fulfilling than finding happiness within yourself- do that. 

Forget about them- but, do not forget what they taught you. 

Move on. Learn to love yourself and set your heart free in the beauty of the this crazy life. But, do not forget what that relationship taught you. Take that with you in your next relationship. You know what I am talking about that little voice in your head that told you, 'you know something is up,' or, 'you do not deserve this,' listen to that voice- it is usually correct. Remember who you are and what you deserve in a relationship and a partner. Do not settle, because I found I am much happier alone than with an undeserving partner. 

Love is a two way street paved by trust. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect or their heart toyed with. I have found that those who do not respect you- do not deserve you. Take this with you, guard your heart, and trust your instinct. Know your worth and never, ever settle for less. Find happiness within your own life and love. Love and love deeply, believe in love and fall madly, trust in your heart and trust the heart of others, love is an amazing gift and I hope you all find someone who can show you just that.